Summer of Direction

This summer has brought quite a few changes: I moved to a wonderful new place with nice people, my company moved to a new building that isn't plagued by loud noises and diesel fumes, I have a new little furry family member that loves to be adorable while causing chaos, and more changes are on the way.

Last month I turned a year older. This prompts me to reflect on where I've been and where I'm going in life. I've been blessed with a wonderful wife, a nice shelter, steady job, good friends and family and more entertainment than I need, to name a few things. There is still one thing missing though - something I haven't come up with a name for until this post. I'll call it creative direction. Don't get me wrong, I would be very hard-pressed to live without any of the things I listed above, but I've always wanted to pursue an artistic hobby. For me the choice of hobby has been one of three; music, writing and art.

I know what you're thinking. Why choose one? The first reason is time. I don't want to spend my evenings shutting myself away because I have too many things to practice (already made that mistake a few times and the results weren't pretty). The second reason is commitment. Anyone who knows my branch of the family line knows that dedication to something is a trait not to be abused. I can't tell you how many times I've flipped from one thing to the next because it might feel better than what I'm currently doing. I've been around that merry-go-round enough times to make me barf. The third reason is my fear of spreading myself so thin that I don't enjoy what I do which would defeat the purpose of having hobbies!

My experience explains what it means when I say I suffer from a lack of creative direction. This summer I've been trying to settle this by taking some time each week to try one of my three desired paths. Obviously, this blog covers the writing part. For music, I set up my electronic keyboard and went over halfway through a piano lesson book for adults. I followed my interest in electronic music by signing up for a free online course in music production. However, after learning the basics of sound physics and realizing that trying to understand and properly use a digital audio workstation would be a second job in itself, I decided that listening to music was just as good as playing it. This brings me to art. This is the creative skill that I envy most in others and I'm fortunate enough to know a couple of artsy folks from whom I've gotten inspiration. I have an assortment of "How-To" books that I've collected over the years when the bug to pick up a pencil struck me. I typically practice by setting up in a corner with a pen, a pad, a pair of headphones and a lesson book. This works until my concentration is broken by something going on in the house, which happens frequently. After a few distractions, I give up from frustration.

This post isn't meant to be disheartening, because there is a light in all of this. One thing this experience has taught me is that a hobby shouldn't be treated like a second job that you don't get paid for. If your boss asked you to stay an extra four to six hours at work each day and oh, by the way, come in on weekends but not get paid for it, would you do it? Heck no! A hobby shouldn't feel like that either. It should be a pursuit you do because it's what you want to do, not because someone told you to. This is how I'll approach hobbies for the rest of the summer. I pray that by the end of it, I'll find the direction I need.