Dueling Defeatism

Another year spent.

How should I look back on it? Was it a year filled with learned experiences or was it squandered on meaningless activities? Most people seem to think that life gets worse as you get older. I can't help but wonder why. Remember when you were little and you saw what many grown-ups were able to do? You wondered what it would be like to be like them. These people did things like compose masterful pieces of music, build towering structures, and fly spacecrafts to the moon. Yes, grown-ups have many more responsibilities than a 6-year old who is free to run about, but it is often this child who looks up to the adults around her and thinks "I want to be like them. If only I were older so I could be important too.".

What happens when this child grows older and the weight of the real world grows heavier on her shoulders? She becomes tempted to look backward, back to the time when she was free to run about. She worries about all of the things she must do and loses sight of the things she wanted to do with her life. Obligations take the place of dreams for the sake of "security". As she progresses through adulthood, her childhood spirit is all but forgotten and she winds up with a home filled with things to fill the hole in her heart.

I believe this describes many of the people that I've become tired of listening to. These are the people who say "This is the way things are, so there's no point in trying to change them." or "Life sucks and then you die." I simply do not understand how life is supposed to be more palatable with that mindset. Did our world's great political leaders stand up for change because they thought "Well it would be nice, but it makes no difference in the end"? Did great scientists give us new technological advancements simply for our enjoyment, since we might as well not have them in our short lives? Do people band together every day to promote activities and ideas just for the fun of it?

Why does so much change happen in society if there's no point? Why do anything if it ultimately makes no difference? Just take a couple minutes and look through many of the social organizations and movements that happen by you. Look at the diverse expressions of art and culture that fill our world. There's got to be something to life that would fuel so much activity.

Many of our forebears believed in making a brighter future. We are living in it today. What good is it then if we cast it aside and give up? If they were able to make a difference, then why shouldn't we? What definitive reason to do we have to put a halt on progress that they did not?

There is a noticeable outward difference in a dreamer who holds a deep passion for something and a skeptic who removes himself from any idea that could prove disappointing. The dreamer has a degree of zest for life that comes from the potential each day brings to live out the dream. The skeptic scowls at each day, seeming to prepare himself for the coming disappointment so as to not be caught off guard. Which attitude seems more appropriate for a life filled with possibilities?

Life is full of potential. If it sucks, do something to change it. It does not matter how old you are or what happened in your past. Your future self does not have to be who you are now. That is what I've been wanting to do for myself. That is how I will spend the coming year.

The Treasure of Family

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I've hardly said enough that some of the most important people in life are those who have been there even when you weren't looking at them. We live in a society where it's so easy to get caught up in one's own self that we forget about those who are there to support us and who need us to support them. Who was there to share your first experiences with Star Wars and drive over three hours to wait in line after line at a waterpark? Who was there to go get you school supplies when you waited until the last minute to start that science model? Who was still there for you even though you tried to shut yourself away time and time again?

The meaning of family has changed considerably in modern media, but that makes no difference to its importance. Having someone there to help you through life can make life much less of a challenge. It can make the difference in someone who feels like they won't make a difference.

When was the last time you got in touch with your family? Don't forget to let them know how priceless they are.

Coming Back

*Blows the dust off before he begins typing* It's time I "necro" this blog.

In the pursuit most goals that I've had, the ending has always been the same. After a week or so of being excited about it, I lose hope at the first road block and it doesn't take much afterwards to convince me that slumping back into the lazy routine is the more satisfying route. This blog is an example of that. Quitting goals so often presents some irony: I forget that the reason I started pursuing the goal in the first place was to get out of the pointless routine - to give some purpose to my being.

It takes days like this for me to regain a grasp on what it means to have so much potential available in life. Walking through the downtown strip with its coffee shops and fine performing arts center while classical local radio was playing in my ear sparked a sense of marvel at my situation. All too often I forget that I live in an area brimming with opportunities for anyone wanting to take part in society. The culture of this area is rich and one can find a group for just about any niche. I work with plenty of geeks who are into things from Doctor Who to Magic: The Gathering. One local I know is a budding filmmaker who has a new project in the works and another is a member of a band that is growing in popularity.

This makes me eager to contribute. I know that each day I spend sitting around is a day that I could have added something to this community. This is a time to not only pursue, but reach goals. It's likely that there will be others to share in them.

Out with the Old

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Yes, it's been a while. I really need to make these posts a regular thing.

After a lot of mental wandering and pacing, I've decided to do away with most of my computer games. Why? I asked myself a simple question: "How much have I used these in the past year? In the past two years? How about the past four?" The answers I came up with were pretty underwhelming. The truth is that after spending so many hours on the computer typing up solutions to college and work problems, I didn't have much of a desire to spend my entertainment in the same form that I spend my work. It's taken years to come to this decision, but I think it's one that was worth making.

It's always exhilarating to admit to yourself that you're ready to move on from something. You feel yourself grow as an individual as you cast away whatever no longer works for you. I encourage anyone reading this to sift through their own lives and see if they can identify anything that has gathered dust over the years and could probably be done without. Challenge yourself to move on. You'll be better for it.

The Value of a Valentine

Source: http://www.keywordpictures.com/keyword/loveheart/

Since for me this is the first Valentine's Day of being a married man, this time of year calls for some reflection on the bond I have with my wife. It seems like just a month or two ago that she and I declared vows to each other that would last for a lifetime. To step forward to formally affirm such a bond with another person is no small feat considering we live in an age that is rife with divorce and where non-committed live-in relationships are becoming increasingly popular.

In all honesty, I think it's difficult to deny that one of the greatest parts of life is having a partner there for you. I look back to the time before my wife came along to shake me out of the daze I was in and shudder to think where I would be today if she had not been there to give me the confidence I never would have found otherwise. Sure, I might have a ways to go when it comes to holding my own around others, but she took me by the hand and led me through the first steps to becoming a better person. She remains confident that I can be who I want to and I'm excited to discover a little more of that each day.

I urge anyone who is struggling to find direction to find it in a significant other. He or she will be there to life you up when you are going through tough times, will understand who you are better than anyone else, will be there to share your experiences, and won't judge you for being yourself! That is the true value of having a valentine.

Just Do It

Such a simple phrase, but a powerful one nonetheless. "Just Do It" is a phrase that begs an individual to put aside all doubts and simply go for a goal. It's no wonder why Nike chose this tagline to brand its shoes. Many jocks and fans alike feel a sense of empowerment when they put on a pair, because Nike will help give them the boost they need to win the game.

Games are usually thought of as activities that involve competition like a sport such as basketball or a game of logic like chess. In reality, anything that sets up a goal to meet can be thought of as a game. Maybe you want to learn a new skill or move to a higher-ranking position at your job? Those are examples of goals that we set up for ourselves and the playing field is made up of our means to get there.

One of the critical parts of winning any game is to formulate a strategy. Just like the players on a team follow the plans laid out by the coach, people will spend hours or months reading and researching different ways to meet their goals. However, just like Nike's slogan, there's no point in putting so much effort into planning if you don't just do it.

This I think is the best way to pursue any goal. It's all too easy to build yourself up, only to let yourself slide back into the lazy pile of excuses a week or two later. The key is to just force yourself to take steps, however small, towards your goal each week and track your progress. You will be surprised at how far you come in a short amount of time. I've surprised myself from just practicing piano - a skill I thought I'd be a little too old to learn - two or three times each week for a couple months.

Make your goal into a game. Keep track of your progress and give yourself a reward for each landmark that you hit. Don't let yourself get discouraged if you start to slack because the journey to your goal isn't necessarily about being good at whatever you're learning, but about growing as an individual.

Scatterbrain

In my life, I'm continually reminded of a problem that is simple to diagnose, but extremely difficult to overcome. It's something I call "Scatterbrain". It involves approaching many elements to the current task at hand and feeling unable to tend to them in an orderly way. A simpler way of putting it is being "flustered".

Just doing some quick browsing online has allowed me to come up with a few tips for the situation:

1. Approach the day with a task list. Having a list of what you need/want to accomplish in a day keeps you on track.
2. Track your progress. Knowing that you are coming closer to achieving your goals is a powerful way to keep you motivated. No one wants to push in one direction only to find out they haven't gone anywhere.
3. Apply time-boxing to your projects. If you are juggling multiple tasks, try working on one for a limited period, then start on the next. This keeps your mind fresh and helps you avoid beating your head over a single problem.
4. Set up an appropriate background. Your choice of music can make a difference on your level of focus. Personally, I find that the less lyrics there are, the less distracted I am (especially when reading). Also, I find that the some of the best music to keep me focused lies between mellow and upbeat: Not so loud and energetic that I feel like I'm in a rave but also not so slow that I want to fall asleep.
5. Bring a bottle. There is something to be said about staying hydrated. Having a bottle of water next to you will prevent you from making frequent trips to the water cooler.
6. Walk away. This may seem contradictory, but sometimes the best way to keep your mind on track is to let it have a break. Take a couple minutes every hour or two to get up and stretch. You will be a little more refreshed when you come back and will be better able to continue in your work.
7. Keep clean. Just like it's important to have a list of goals in mind, it's also important to keep your physical and digital workspaces orderly. This includes putting away things you don't currently need and closing programs you're not using anymore. Having to spend an extra 5 minutes searching around for what you need won't help you avoid breaking your focus.
8. Rethink your perspective. Yes, you're doing work. Yes, it's not like being at a water park. Even though you may not always take pride in what you do, you have control over how you think about it. As laborsome as it can be, work gives us purpose. It gives us a way to impact our world and be rewarded. Think of what things would be like if you just sat around all day. Sure, it would be nice at first, but you would grow bored. Without goals to drive toward, life quickly becomes pointless, so be thankful for the goals you have and don't groan in pursuing them. Take them as opportunities to learn and grow as an individual.

I hope this helps your productivity as I hope it will help mine. :)